I’m always surprised by how controversial New Years Resolutions (and goals in general) are. Some people love them, make them, and follow through (Kate). Some people make them and fail. Some people make changes throughout the year, and don’t consider New years the time for it (Erik). And some people seem to think making resolutions hurts (Leo).

I really like New Years resolutions. My approach is that if I’m trying to do something all year, I need to be able to remember it easily. So, I try to stick to one major resolution per year so I can remind myself of it as I go about my normal life. It’s more of a “habit for the year.” I also try to make ones I enjoy- If I said I was going running every day, that’d never happen. I like to give myself resolutions that I just need a little extra kick for.

2009 was “read an hour every day.” That’s been my most effective resolution so far. I actually did read an hour a day for at least the first two months, and definitely continued with the intent. I read more books in 2011 than I did in 2010 or 2009. Overall I read around one book every three days, which I think fulfills the intent well. It worked because I love reading, and I wanted to read, but usually didn’t set aside the time.

2010 was “be less flakey.” This has never been a problem for me with work. I can commit to getting things done and doing them. But socially, I have a much harder time. I don’t compulsively track my social plans, and frequently go “oh we should X this weekend” off-handedly. This often gets misinterpreted as “we’re doing X this weekend” when I usually was just making conversation. I think I’ve improved somewhat on this, but not to the extent that I should.

So in 2011 I had four, and I’ll highlight two. To be truthful, I had to look up what the 2011 ones were, and I think that’s because they weren’t as simple as 2009 and 2010.

2011 was “write 750 words every day.” I definitely didn’t do it every day, but I think on the whole I wrote a lot more than I ever have. I did many days of 750words, wrote 12 essays in December, and wrote over 50,000 words in November.

2011 also was “go to bed when I am tired.” I am better at this too! I definitely no longer stay up for no reason. If I am sleepy, I go to bed at 9pm. Last night I went to bed at 10pm, even though there were people doing things. I was tired.

So here’s to 2012.

For 2012 I want to “listen better.” I have a tendency to try to respond quickly in conversation. I tend to think about what the person said, and immediately provide another story, some advice, or something else that I want to help that. I want to spend 2012 making sure that I listen more deeply when other people talk. I want to make sure I understand and internalize their points, and look at it from their perspective (without trying to add from mine).

I think the best way to practice this is to have conversations with people – so if you’re interested in getting together for coffee with me, let me know. I’d love to talk to you, and if you want, you can tell me how well you think i’m doing at listening while you talk.

So a final bit on how my resolutions as being different from goals. I haven’t written much about goals, but if you want to learn more about those, please visit my friend Erik’s blog “the Bucket List society.”

The three big ones for me are:
- Habit – My resolutions are habits, or continuous. Goals are something that can be done in one day.
- “Finish-ability” – My resolutions are things I want to work on, and are never “done.” My life goals I can concretely check off as I achieve them.
- Desire – My resolutions are always things I want to do, to just give myself an extra kick. Sometimes goals are things that I think I should achieve, but I don’t have the day to day willpower/desire for them.

I’m excited to launch into a year of listening. Let me know if you want me to listen to you!